Let Love Take The Lead

Romans 12:10

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Day in and day out, our culture preaches the same message: put yourself first. Look out for number one. Protect your interests. Build your platform. Get ahead. Make sure people know what you bring to the table. Because if you don’t promote yourself, who will?

It's not always said that bluntly, of course. We have learned to dress it up a little. We call it ambition. We call it self-care. We call it knowing your worth. But let's be honest, sometimes those things are good and necessary. There is nothing inherently wrong with working hard, pursuing excellence, or understanding that your life has value. In fact, you should do all those things.

But there is a line somewhere between knowing your worth and believing everyone else exists to recognize it. And we cross that line more often than we would like to admit.

And the one things I have learned over the last couple of years is that racing can reinforce that mentality.

When you are in the car, it is just you. Your hands. Your feet. Your focus. Your decisions. The driver in front of you is not your friend in that moment. They are the car you need to get around. The driver behind you is not someone you need to encourage. They are the threat in your mirrors.

You are looking for an opening.

You are protecting your position.

You are trying to be first.

And that's the point, right?

Nobody climbs into a race car hoping to finish in the middle of the pack. We want to win. We want the clean lap, the good line, the checkered flag, the feeling that all the preparation and sacrifice paid off.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to win. But there is something dangerous about allowing the race to become the way we see every part of life. Because the people around us are not competitors we need to defeat.

Your spouse is not a rival.

Your children are not obstacles.

Your friends are not threats to your position.

Your coworkers are not merely people standing between you and the recognition you want.

And the person sitting next to you in church is not someone you need to outperform spiritually. They are people God has placed in your life to love. That is where Paul’s words in Romans 12:10 become so disruptive. He tells us to be devoted to one another in love and to honor one another above ourselves. Above ourselves.

That is not the message we hear most days.

We are told to make sure our voice is heard. But Jesus tells us to listen. We are told to demand our rights. But Jesus tells us to serve. We are told to climb over whoever is in our way. But Jesus tells us that the last shall be first.

The world tells us to ask, “What can this person do for me?”

Jesus teaches us to ask, “How can I love this person well?”

Those are two completely different ways of living.

The Person in the Other Car

When you are racing, it is easy to forget that every other car is being driven by a person.

You see the number.

You see the position.

You see the gap.

You see the move you want to make.

But you don’t always see the person.

You do not see the years they have spent learning. You do not see the money they have sacrificed. You do not see the family members who helped them get to the track. You do not see the pressure they are carrying into the race. You do not see the disappointment they are trying to outrun or the dream they are trying to chase.

You see a competitor.

And that is all you need to see while you are trying to make a pass. But it becomes a problem when you start seeing everyone that way. Because the person you are trying to get around on the track may be your friend when the race is over. The person you are battling for position may be someone who needs encouragement more than they need another reminder that you are faster than they are.

Competition has a place.

So does compassion.

The problem is not that we want to win. The problem is when winning becomes more important than loving.

I have watched people carry the race home with them. It's something we have done as a family more than once. The checkered flag is long gone, the trailer is headed home, and yet the argument continues. Someone made a move. Someone held a line. Someone did not give enough room. Someone celebrated too loudly. Someone posted the wrong picture afterward.

And suddenly a few laps around a track have become a referendum on someone’s character.

We are very good at making temporary things permanent. A bad pass becomes a bad person. A frustrating race becomes a broken relationship. A disagreement becomes a reason to stop speaking.

That is when we need to remember that not every battle deserves to follow us home.

Love Is Not Weakness

Sometimes we hesitate to embrace humility because we think it will make us weak.

If I let someone else go first, they might get ahead of me.

If I honor someone else, people might not notice me.

If I serve instead of demanding to be served, maybe I will get overlooked.

And, if we are being honest, that last one is probably what bothers us most.

We want to be noticed.

We want someone to recognize the work we have done. We want our sacrifice to count. We want people to understand how much we have carried and how hard we have tried. But humility is not pretending that you have no gifts. It is refusing to treat your gifts as proof that you are more valuable than everyone else.

Humility does not mean you have to become invisible. It means you do not have to make yourself the center of every room.

You can be confident without being arrogant.

You can be competitive without being cruel.

You can pursue excellence without treating everyone else as a tool for your success.

And you can want to be first on the track while choosing to put others first everywhere else.

That is the difference Jesus makes.

Who Is Leading in Your Life?

The question is not whether you are going to lead. Somebody is always leading. The question is what is leading you.

Is it ambition?

Is it fear?

Is it insecurity?

Is it the need to prove yourself?

Is it the fear that if you do not fight for your place, someone else will take it?

Or is it love?

Because love changes the way we use our strength. Love changes the way we speak when we are frustrated. Love changes the way we respond when somebody else succeeds. Love changes what we do when we have the better argument. Love changes how we behave when nobody is watching and no one can reward us for doing the right thing.

And love does not wait for everyone else to go first.

This is where the verse gets very practical.

In marriage, love means you do not keep score of who apologized last. You do not treat every disagreement like a race you have to win. Sometimes honoring your spouse means listening when you would rather defend yourself.

In friendship, love means celebrating someone else’s success without turning it into a comparison. Their good news does not diminish you. Their opportunity is not evidence that God has forgotten you.

In a family, love means putting down the phone, paying attention, and remembering that the people closest to you should not have to compete with the rest of the world for whatever attention you have left.

At work, love means you do not take credit for someone else’s contribution. You do not sabotage a coworker simply because their success might make you look less impressive. You do not have to step on someone else to move forward.

Even in racing, love means you remember that the person beside you is more important than the position you are fighting for.

Sometimes honoring another person won't look dramatic. More often, it will look ordinary. It will look like asking a question before offering your opinion. It will look like giving credit when you could have kept it. It will look like apologizing without adding the word “but.”

It will look like choosing not to send the text you wrote when you were angry.

It will look like cheering for somebody who is doing well, even when you wish it were you.

Nobody is going to build a statue for most of those choices. You may not even get a thank-you.

But that is part of the point.

Love is not a transaction. It is not kindness offered in exchange for applause. It is a way of seeing people because Jesus first saw us.

The Last Shall Be First

Jesus repeatedly turned our ideas of greatness upside down. The world says the greatest person is the one at the top. Jesus says the greatest is the one willing to serve. The world says power is proven by how many people answer to you. Jesus shows us a towel, a basin, and a King kneeling at the feet of his disciples. The world says protect your status. Jesus lays down his life.

That does not mean Jesus was passive. He was not afraid to speak truth. He was not afraid to confront hypocrisy. He was not afraid to walk away from crowds or refuse to perform for people who wanted a miracle on demand.

But Jesus never used his strength to make himself bigger at someone else’s expense.

He had nothing to prove.

And because he had nothing to prove, he was free to serve. That is what insecurity does to us. It makes us believe every interaction is an audition. Every conversation becomes an opportunity to establish our importance. Every disagreement becomes a chance to win. But when our identity is secure in Christ, we do not have to keep proving that we matter.

We can honor someone else because their honor does not threaten ours.

We can serve because we are not desperate to be served. We can let someone else have the spotlight because we know the light was never ours in the first place.

While You’re Trying to Be First

So, yes, try to be first on the track. Prepare well. Drive hard. Compete with integrity. Learn from your mistakes. Push yourself toward excellence. But do not let the race teach you to live as though every person is in your way. When the helmet comes off, let love take the lead.

Let humility lead in your marriage.

Let patience lead in your friendships.

Let generosity lead in your family.

Let integrity lead at work.

Let service lead in your church.

And let Jesus lead everywhere.

Because the goal is not simply to become someone who finishes first. The goal is to become someone who looks like Jesus when the race is over. That is a far more important victory.